One of the “perks” of flying so often is having the privilege to overhear some ridiculous conversations in the air. As part of a weekly weekend post, I’ll be sharing some of these conversations. If you too have done a double take after hearing the outrageous, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in a future post, the more the better!
Flight from Dublin to JFK
Male Passenger 1 (late 20s) – What are you guys looking to see in the city?
Female Passenger 1 (early 20s) – We want to hit up some of the famous clubs
Male Passenger 1 – Oh I can make you a list of all the hot clubs right now
Female Passenger 1 – Not those type of clubs
Male Passenger 1 – Oh comedy clubs, I’ve only been to one but there are tons of people handing out flyers for them all over times square. You’ll easily find them.
Female Passenger 1 – Not those type either, me and my girls like the strip clubs
Flight from Barbados to JFK
Female Passenger 1 – Wow, you got so much color down here, how long were you in Barbados for?
Female Passenger 2 – I was here for 6 nights but this is my natural color
Female Passenger 1 – I wish I could get that dark
Female Passenger 2 – No, natural as in I’m black
Female Passenger 1 – I know I can see, I’m totally jealous. So do you get this color in New York during the summer as well or it’s the Caribbean sun?
Female Passenger 2 – (rolls her eyes and puts on her headphones)
Flight from Dublin to Porto
(after tea and coffee had just been served)
Female Passenger 1 – Can I have some warm water for my baby’s formula?
Flight Attendant 1 – (rolls her eyes), this is another reason why you should breastfeed!
Flight from Mumbai to Goa
Male Passenger 1 – Why can’t they turn on the A/C while we are parked at the gate?
Flight Attendant 1 – Cost savings
Male Passenger 1 – I’ve been on this flight several times before and the air is always on prior to departure from the gate
Flight Attendant 1 – Sir, obviously there is a problem with the A/C and we are working on it
Flight Attendant 1 (picks up microphone to make an announcement) – Attention passengers, the safety card in the back of your seat also functions as a fan
Flight from JFK to Athens
Female Passenger 1 – What happened to the caramel sauce that comes with the sundaes?
Flight Attendant 1 – Oh, you didn’t hear? We are trying to be healthy now
Flight from JFK to Paris
Connecting Passenger 1 – Sorry to disturb you, this is our first time on a plane overseas.
Flight Attendant 1 – How exciting. What can I help you with sir?
Connecting Passenger 1 – We both want to watch Two and a Half Men
Flight Attendant 1 – That should already be loaded in your personal tv units
Passenger 1’s wife – Yes, we both found it and clicked play but we can’t hear anything
Flight Attendant 1 – Neither of your headphones are working?
Passenger 1’s wife – We have to use the headphones? We wanted to watch together