Welcome to a third reader submitted edition of Overheard on the Plane. Thanks to everyone for sending in your stories (especially Kevin for his huge list)!
If you haven’t yet, check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-5 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources.
Submitted by Diane L – Dallas (DFW) to Houston (IAH) Flight
Flight Attendant: Sandwiches, candy, and snacks are now available. Buy one, get the second for the same price!.
Submitted by Kevin One Liners Courtesy of OHNY – LaGuardia (LGA) and JFK
Flight Attendant (LGA): Well, everybody, sorry for that delay, the plane was late coming in from California. On the other hand, I have some good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.
Flight Attendant (JFK): Thank you for listening to the safety announcement for this service to Buenos Aires… Go to sleep. Go to sleep. You don’t want any beverages. Close your eyes and sleep…
Flight Attendant (LGA): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention I would very much appreciate it. My parents paid thousands of dollars to put me through college for a theater arts and communications degree, and since this is the only time the airline ever puts a microphone in my hand, I’m sure they would really appreciate it, too.
Pilot (LGA on the crowded runway): Welcome to the parking lot known as LaGuardia Airport.
TSA Official (LGA): Okay, people, have your boarding passes out! If you don’t have your boarding passes out, I’m sending you to Amtrak!
Passport Agent (JFK): Everyone with a US passport, up against that wall, line-up!
Arriving Passenger – ?Wow, have things changed that much?