Welcome to another edition of Overheard on the Plane. Big thanks to Kevin in New York who has contributed to Overheard for five weeks in a row!
If you haven’t yet, check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-9 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources. There will also be a contest in the next several weeks for best entry with a mileage prize awarded for any entries submitted June 16 – July 1.
Submitted (again) by Kevin One Liners Courtesy of OHEverywhere
Flight to Chicago (ORD)
Pilot (after a bumpy landing): Ladies and gentlemen, that landing was not me or the plane. That was our co-pilot–he’s required to complete one landing a month. And he blew it. Welcome to Chicago.
Flight to Colorado Springs, CO (COS)
Pilot(standing at the door to the plane after pulling into the gate): Shit! I totally didn’t mean to park here!
Flight to Vancouver (YVR)
Pilot: … and if you have any comments or questions, go ahead and look me up on Facebook.
Flight to Honolulu (HNL)
Pilot: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.
Flight from Seattle (SEA) to Oakland (OAK)
Pilot: We’ll be flying with our team of flight attendants today, and of course we’ll be looking forward to the great service they provide (awkward laugh)…the great service they provide to you, of course.
Flight to Orlando (MCO)
Pilot: Welcome to JetBlue! I am your captain, Greg, and sitting next to me is your co-captain… also Greg.
Submitted by LindaB in GA
Flight from Atlanta (ATL) to Phoenix (PHX)
Flight Attendant (to passenger discussing the 2 items rule): The flight attendant recalled that back when they allowed a diaper bag in addition to your carry on and personal item, a woman boarded with a roll-aboard, a briefcase AND a diaper bag. The flight attendant stopped her and said “ma’am…only 2 items are allowed” at which point the passenger pointed out she was carrying a diaper bag, which was exempt from the rule. Only problem, spotted by the astute flight attendant, was the woman was missing a baby!
Delta Flight from LaGuardia (LGA) to Orlando (MCO)
Flight Attendant was struggling with introducing the flight crew and resorted to first names only. The reason? The pilot’s last name was Hiyjaque – pronounced, you guessed it, HIJACK.
Submitted by Burj
Delta Flight from JFK to Paris (CDG)
Flight Attendant (while experiencing turbulence the seatbelt sign goes on): Please note the captain has turned on the seatbelt lights. When the seatbelt light is on please remain….*DING* Seatbelt Light Goes Off … O.K. it is off now…those of you who were ignoring it can go back to what you are doing….