Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane.
Check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-21 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries.
Submitted by Andy in New York, NY courtesy of Airliners
United Gate Agent at Newark (EWR)
Gate Agent: Sir, you need to listen to me, not your wife. Your wife doesn’t work here!
Submitted by Ben in Washington, DC
Delta Marine Terminal – LaGuardia (LGA)
Gate Agent: Ladies and gentlemen, if you have given up your seat in exchange for a voucher and a later flight, you should not be attempting to board this aircraft, I can see you! Hendricks family, that means you.
Submitted by Sean in Chicago, IL
United Flight from Los Angeles (LAX) to Chicago (ORD)
Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, I want to be the first to welcome you to Chicago where the local time is 7:05 in the morning. We hope you enjoyed your flight today, again my name is Suzzane and on behalf of United and our Star Alliance partners, we thank you for choosing us and hope to see you on-board again soon. If you did not enjoy your flight, my name is Mary and on behalf of American Airlines and our oneworld partners, we thank you for flying. Please address all concerns to our customer service desk located in Terminal 3 concourse H!
Submitted by John in Salt Lake City, UT
Delta Flight from Salt Lake City (SLC) to Los Angeles (LAX)
There were what appeared to be three attorneys sitting in front of me and they were all taking negatively about their client.
Attorney 1: Tell her that we have it covered and to calm down. Instead of bothering us she should use her time to buy a new wardrobe, she looked like a prostitute the other day when she came into the office. In fact, I think she may be one!
Attorney 2: Oh, stop, she is not a prostitute.
Attorney 1: Oh, no? What other job could she possibly have if she’s telling us that she doesn’t get home from work until 5am?
Attorney 3: Didn’t you guys listen during the intake? She’s a receiving clerk!
Attorney 1: Oh, she’s receivin’ alright…
Submitted by John in Louisville, KY
United Flight from Los Angeles (LAX) to HNL (HNL)
Passenger 1: Why does it take about three hours to fly to Hawaii but almost eight hours on the way back?
Passenger 2: It’s the headwinds.
Submitted by Mark in Ithaca, NY
Turkish Airlines Flight from JFK to Istanbul (IST)
Heard the following announcement which woke me up mid-flight to Turkey
Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, just a reminder, removing your shoes is fine but please keep your pants on for the duration of this flight.