Say What? Overheard on the Plane Edition 23

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane.

Check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-22 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to adam@pointmetotheplane.com. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries.

Submitted by Aaron in Philly courtesy of  4VFR & PCs

United Flight from Washington,DC (IAD) to Rio (GIG)
Flight Attendant: Your seat cushions can be used for floatation devices. In the event of an emergency water landing, please use them to paddle to shore and feel free to take them home with our compliments.

US Airways Flight from Washington, DC (DCA) to Charlotte (CLT)
Flight Attendant: Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children.

US Airways Flight from Phoenix (PHX) to Las Vegas (LAS)
Flight Attendant: As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed equally amongst the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.

Submitted by David in Dublin, Ireland

Arrivals at Dublin Airport (DUB)
Someone was playing a joke upon arrival in Dublin.  The annoucment in the arrivals area after customs was the following:
Arriving passenger Master Bates. Master Bates your parents are waiting. Beat it to baggage claim.

Submitted by Eric in Rockland, NY courtesy of  PilotChukles

JFK Airport
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After reaching a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom:
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to your nonstop flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax…Oh No, Look out!!!
Silence followed, and after a minute or two the captain came back on the intercom
Pilot: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee, which ended up spilling in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!
Passenger in Coach: That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!

Submitted by Maggie in Toronto

WestJet Flight from LaGuardia (LGA) to Toronto (YYZ)
Flight Attendant during safety briefing: There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane. So pay attention!

Submitted by Lori in Atlanta courtesy PCs

Delta Flight from Atlanta (ATL) to West Palm Beach (PBI)
Pilot: Delta is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry, unfortunately none of them are on this flight. …Just kidding, Mary and her ATL based team are the best.

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