I think we all may be guilty of a few of these, but hopefully not all seven and I’d venture to guess the biggest violations for readers are probably #1 and #5…
1. The guy who complains about everything to get free stuff
They say the customer is always right, but some ambitious travelers take it way too far. The guy at the customer service desk insisting on a travel voucher for his delayed flight. The hotel guest who “couldn’t get a wink of sleep” (wink, wink) due to “loud” neighbors. These cheaters use every trick in the book to scam their way to top perks.
2. The pool and hot tub hoggers
These notorious guests camp out for hours in the hotel swimming pool and hot tub, drinking, carousing, and generally acting as if there’re no other guests in the joint. The sign says it’s dangerous to stay in the tub longer than 20 minutes. Get out. Oh yea, this group also includes the afternoon drinkers who lock down the swim-up bar, the dude doing laps, and pool-chair saver.
3. The embarrassingly underdressed traveler
Sure, who isn’t okay with short skirts and flashing a little skin, but being wildly underdressed (both men and women) is another story. Nobody wants to sit next to your sweaty armpit hair because you thought an Ed Hardy mesh tank top was the right fashion play for your flight to Ft. Lauderdale.
4. The backpacker going to “find himself” in Southeast Asia
We highly endorse “find thyself” trips to Southeast Asia as long as guys don’t get super extreme about it (see: spiritual quest blogs). If you’ve ever embraced a Buddhist name while ditching your given one or gotten a tattoo of Chinese characters you can’t translate, we’re talking to you.
5. The Instabragger
According to Instagram, this traveler is flying in first class. Again. Just like last week, and the week before that. Apparently, he also just checked into the presidential suite of that hard-to-book hotel, a week after posting, like, a million photos of his overwater-bungalow in Tahiti. Good thing you can follow all of his adventures from your cubicle.
6. The Facebooker who checks in everywhere
Similarly, this annoying traveler literally checks in everywhere. Airports, restaurants, beaches, pay toilets, random streets in Kuala Lampur, basically anywhere he gets cell service and has battery power.
7. The infrequent flier
The Infrequent Flier in Group 5 loves to crowd the boarding gate when they call for children and people needing assistance. At security, he ignores huge signs reminding him to take off his metal belt buckle, while looking around bewildered as he approaches the X-ray machine with five huge rollerbags. Even newbie TSA Precheck travelers never seemed to get the memo that you can leave your laptop in the carry-on.
Which are you guilty of? A bit too many posts with a picture of that First Class suite and overwater bungalow? It’s OK…we worked hard for those awards!