Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant #12 – Smells on a Plane

by Adam

He said he had bad gas and didn’t want to disturb his seatmate.  She asked what he was going to do with the coffee … put in his underwear? Nope. He said he was going to “sit on it to muffle the sounds!”

Betty continues spilling her secrets. Thanks to Mark from Yahoo! for sharing a new weekly series called “Confessions of A Fed-Up Flight Attendant” written by “Betty”.  Below is the 12th entry from the series, you can check out the full post here and a new one each Monday.

Coffee to the Rescue
A friend of mine was working a flight on a 757 when she noticed a popular TV star board the aircraft. She was a fan of his show and noticed that he kept getting up from his first-class seat to use the restroom. After one of his numerous trips to the bathroom he asked her, “Can I ask you the craziest question you’ve ever heard?” He asked her if she would get him a coffee packet. She asked what he wanted it for. He said he had bad gas and didn’t want to disturb his seatmate. She asked what he was going to do with the coffee … put in his underwear? Nope. He said he was going to “sit on it to muffle the sounds!”

Spray it Away
After a long flight the airplane bathrooms can smell really bad. They are in constant use, and let’s face it, when people aren’t on their normal schedules their stomachs tend to revolt. Lots of flight attendants carry their own air freshener sprays since our jump seats are always near the bathrooms. One day a flight attendant was disgusted with the rank smell and got out her large aerosol air-freshening spray. She didn’t want to inhale any more of the stink than was necessary, so she only opened the door a tad and sprayed it up and down. The next thing she heard was coughing. A little old lady had gone into the bathroom and forgotten to lock the door.

Flatulence on Command
Flight attendants have a secret weapon hidden in their back pocket for the unruly or rude passenger. Because of the way the seats and the aisle are situated, if you were so inclined to “let one rip” near said mean passenger’s seat, it could make a definite impression. This is affectionately called “crop dusting.” I have never participated in crop dusting, but I know some fellow crew members who have.
One “colorful” flight attendant warned us before a flight that we shouldn’t be alarmed if we saw him with the medical oxygen mask on during the flight when most of the passengers had gone to sleep. We shouldn’t worry that there was anything wrong with him; he just hated all the gas passed on all night flights and the oxygen mask filters out some of the smell. We all thought he was joking till later during the night he was sitting on his jump seat wearing the oxygen mask and writing out Christmas cards!

Here’s hoping your next flight smells as fresh as a daisy!

Related –

The responses below are not provided or commissioned by the bank advertiser. Responses have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the bank advertiser. It is not the bank advertiser's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.

Related Articles

4 comments

Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant #12 – Smells on a Plane | Globe Trotting Winos Guide to Frugal Travel August 25, 2014 - 4:41 pm

[…] Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant #12 – Smells on a Plane […]

Reply
Confessions of a Pilot #1: Debunking the Biggest Air Travel Myths - Point Me to the Plane - Point Me to the Plane October 5, 2014 - 12:06 pm

[…] Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant #12 – Smells on a Plane […]

Reply
Cruise Ship Staff / Crew-Member Confessions & Questions - Point Me to the Plane December 3, 2014 - 9:02 am

[…] Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant #12 – Smells on a Plane […]

Reply
It's Back...Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant...A Brand New FA Spills the Beans! - Part #13 - Point Me to the Plane June 21, 2015 - 4:09 pm

[…] Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant #12 – Smells on a Plane […]

Reply

Leave a Reply to Confessions of a Pilot #1: Debunking the Biggest Air Travel Myths - Point Me to the Plane - Point Me to the Plane Cancel Reply