Confessions of a Concierge – Hotel Guests’ Craziest Requests

Well, we’ve covered Flight Attendants and Pilots…now it’s time for the juicy Confessions of a Concierge!

As always, thanks to Mark from Yahoo! for sharing this new weekly series. Here’s the first entry from this past week, remember to check out the full posts over on Yahoo!.

Concierges always answer with a smile, but behind that grin they’re seething. Meet Jeeves, our luxury hotel concierge in Miami’s South Beach who promises he has seen and heard it all. And he’s writing it all down.Here are some of the more surprising requests that Jeeves has gotten from his self-important customers.

1. A yoga instructor at 3 a.m. This has happened more than once. We are asked to procure a yoga, Pilates, or barre instructor in the wee hours of the morning for models who have early photo shoots.

2. A professionally trained, camera-ready monkey. A commercial film crew once asked us to help them find a dancing monkey after the monkey they had booked bowed out at the last minute.

3. A licensed cat groomer. One regular guest always travels with her finicky Russian blue. One night the cat went berserk and began scratching everything in the room, including the owner. She begged us to find her a professional cat groomer to come to the suite to clip her cat’s nails.

4. Sleeping pills. We are constantly asked to procure prescription sleeping pills and antianxiety pills — Ambien, Xanax, Lunesta. Admittedly, sometimes our staff has these on hand. Most of the time we have to politely decline.

5. Five thousand dollars’ worth of Kentucky Fried Chicken. A famous pop star, who shall go unnamed, handed me $5,000 in cash to purchase as much Kentucky Fried Chicken (all original recipe) as we could get. We sent staff to three different locations at once to get enough chicken and make sure it was warm when it arrived.

6. Escorts. No judgment, but we are asked on a very regular basis to provide “escorts” to parties and events. We tell guests that we are unable to perform this service.

7. Three Lamborghinis. Yet another famous pop star asked us to find him three Lamborghinis so that he could go drag racing with his entourage.

8. Fifty cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon. We don’t have PBR on our room service menu, and so one rocker asked us to buy 50 cases for a late-night party in his suite.

9. Costumes. More than once, we have been asked to go out to purchase costumes in the middle of the night — everything from nurse to school girl to Catwoman. Thankfully, Miami Beach has a wide selection of costume outfitters, many of which are open 24 hours.

10. The morning-after pill. This request came from the 20-something daughter of a very wealthy real estate investor who was in town for the Art Basel festival. She came downstairs hung over, wearing these huge sunglasses, and whispered, “I need Plan B.” Not knowing what she was talking about, I said with a straight face, “What happened to Plan A?” We went a few rounds like this before she spit it out: “Get me the morning-after pill!” Little did she know that you need an ID to purchase the emergency contraceptive, and so we had to send one of our female employees to use her driver’s license at the nearby drugstore.

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  1. 3 guesses on the drag racing kingpin… Presumably the concierges are compensated for the steps they take to make things comfortable, but still not the easiest of jobs.

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