Say What? Overheard on the Plane Edition 20

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane.

Check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-19 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to adam@pointmetotheplane.com. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources. The Overheard on the Plane AA miles contest expired August 31 but lookout for a Fall contest kicking off next Saturday.  Winners from the Summer contest to be announced tomorrow.

Submitted by Tim J

Delta Gate Agent @ Atlanta (ATL)
In Atlanta last week our flight ATL-MUC by DL was delayed by 15 mins from 4:30 to 4:45PM. Here is the ensuing dialogue with the gate agent:
Me: How certain is the 4:45PM departure time or should I go back to the lounge?
GA: Sir, this is Delta, nothing is certain with us.
Me: I ordered a special meal for my wife and daughter. Can you please confirm that you received the request?
GA: Sir, I am up here, the meal might be all the way down there (points to the plane). How would I know?
Me: Okay then, thank you.
But, he was very friendly

Submitted by Scott in New York, New York courtesy of OHNY

JFK
Blonde: So, how long is the flight to San Diego?
Brunette: I think it’s like three hours… Yeah, it’s three hours. I leave at three and land at six.
Blonde: Oh, that’s it?
Brunette: Yeah, it would be quicker if I didn’t have a layover.

Submitted by Mikey

Abha Regional Airport , Saudi Arabia (AHB)
In line at the snack shop someone asked me what were those treats in the little bags on display.
Before thinking I said looks like fried pork rinds. I could have sworn the background music and pa announcements stopped for an instant and all eyes were on me ( turns out it was some form of fried pita bread). I then slunk off to the boarding area.

Submitted by Aaron in Philly courtesy of  4VFR

JFK Airport
Overheard from ATC, a little dated but one of my favorites
Unknown aircraft: I’m f…ing bored!
Air Traffic Control: Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!
Unknown aircraft: I said I wa! s f…ing bored, not f…ing stupid!

Submitted by Mike P 

Pan Am in Munich (MUC)
An odlie, but a goodie:
Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): Ground, what is our start clearance time?
Ground (in English): If you want an answer you must speak in English.
Lufthansa (in English): I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): Because you lost the bloody war.

Submitted by Aaron in Philly courtesy of  4VFR

Chicago O’Hare (ORD)
Similar to my last one but I love it, also an oldie.  Lots of commercial aircraft are stacked up waiting for approach to O’Hare Int’l, ATC has inflicted numerous delays, and some planes are already 1-2 hours late. The weather is good, it’s just that there is a traffic bottleneck somewhere. Pilots, passengers, crew are all getting quite frustrated and angry.
ATC: All aircraft holding, expect 20 minutes additional delay.
Unknown A/C: Ahhh . . . bullsh*t!
ATC: Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself.
(silence)
ATC: Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself immediately!
(silence)
ATC: Aircraft using ‘bullshit’ in last transmission, identify yourself.
American 411, was that you?
American 411: Approach, American 411: negative on the ‘bullshit,’ sir.
NW 202: Approach, NW 202: negative on the ‘bullshit.’
Delta 55: Approach, Delta 55: negative on the ‘bullshit.’
NW 33: Approach, NW 33: we have a negative on that ‘bullshit.’
. . . and so on, right through the entire pattern.

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