The 15 Most Ridiculous Things People Say on a Plane – Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

by Adam

What are the 15 most ridiculous things said to a flight attendant? Betty continues spilling her secrets. Thanks to Mark from Yahoo! for sharing a new weekly series called “Confessions of A Fed-Up Flight Attendant” written by “Betty”.  Below is a snippet of the third entry from this past Monday, you can check out the full post here and a new one each Monday.

1. “Do they pay for your hotel rooms?” I love this one. Can you imagine if the whole crew was staying in different places and the junior people were grabbing a park bench to sleep on, or couch surfing in their uniforms? Yes, the airline pays for hotels and arranges transportation to and from the hotel. Otherwise, every flight would be late while we figured out where so and so was staying. 

2. Where are the lines between the states? You would be surprised how many people think there are actual lines between the states like on a map. 
3. On night flights we will go through the cabin with trays of orange juice and water. Passengers will look at the tray and say: “Which one is the orange juice and which is the water?”
4. “When do I change the time on my watch or will it change itself as we go?”
5. “I don’t mean to scare you, but something out there has been following us for hours!”  It’s the light on the wing.
6. We ask, “would you like cream and sugar in your coffee?” and they hesitate like it’s a difficult ‘Jeopardy’ question.
7. It takes years before you realize you can answer people’s questions with the wrong answer and they never know the difference. When they ask what river they are looking at, I always say Mississippi—no matter where we are in the country. Same thing with the circular irrigation circles you see in farm areas. “What are those circles out there?” Private helicopter landing pads.
8. What country is Hawaii in?
9. We point to where the bathroom is and the passenger just stands there. I’ll point to it again and they will say “it’s vacant.” They have no idea what the word vacant means, I guess we really shouldn’t use such fancy words like vacant.
10. “Have we landed yet?”
11. On the customs and immigration form it says: Sex M-F. Passengers will ask if it means how many times they have sex Monday to  Friday!!!
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17 comments

Heffa May 29, 2014 - 7:56 pm

#11. Oh, I think I should stop answering that question with a number then…

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Jonathan May 29, 2014 - 9:18 pm

This sounds like a bitter flight attendant.

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Homer simpson May 30, 2014 - 1:25 am

U.S.A dumber won!!!!!

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Jan Masny May 30, 2014 - 7:12 am

Wow! Americans are so dumb!

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Susie Poll May 30, 2014 - 7:38 am

If you’re ‘fed up’ then get a different job. You’re in a service industry. If people annoy you so much then perhaps you should find a desk job where you don’t have to deal with the public.

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R May 30, 2014 - 11:03 am

Could only see 11 of them on the page with no obvious link to the rest

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alex May 30, 2014 - 3:19 pm

This is great! Now I know why it takes so long to get through security 😉

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Skeptical Scalpel May 31, 2014 - 4:57 am

“Circular irrigation circles”? Are there any other types of circles in addition to circular?

The headline promised 15 ridiculous things, but only 11 were listed. I feel cheated.

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Jack May 31, 2014 - 5:22 am

Yes repetitive, but more importantly you sound bitter and burned out.

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Emily May 31, 2014 - 3:19 pm

Agree, seriously sounds like a bitter air waitress who is burned out. Probably one of those been-around-too-long first class or international American Airlines Flight Attendents with nasty attitudes.

Lady and those like you who believe because you serve 1st class passengers automatically makes you better than everyone else, let me tell you this: you’re not. You’re tired, bitter and should apologize to the passengers for your nasty attitudes.

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