Now United: Is 2018 The Year of Masturbating On Airplanes? (Gross)

Last year, clogged airplane toilets strangely became a figment of popular news feeds. This year, pervy men wanking in economy class seem to be vying for the spot atop air travel nuisances.

The epidemic’s latest victim, 26-year-old United passenger Genevieve Pascolla, has taken the airline’s flight attendants to task for, as she claims, joking and turning a blind eye to a seat mate pleasuring himself in an economy seat last month. Pascolla was on a flight from London Heathrow (LHR) to Chicago O’Hare (ORD) last month.

“They then started making jokes about the situation asking, ‘What perfume are you wearing?’ and excusing him, saying, ‘He’s had a bit of wine,” Pascolla wrote on her Instagram.

⚠*Trigger Warning*⚠ On June 4th I was on a #unitedairlines flight from Heathrow to Chicago. On this flight the man next to me started masturbating I woke up and saw him touching himself under a blanket (see attached video) I woke the woman next to me and got out of there to tell a flight attendant the attendants checked and confirmed that he was masturbating in public. Once I got up the woman next to me saw and she also got up. They gave us new seats. They then started making jokes about the situation asking “what perfume are you wearing” and excusing him saying “he’s had a bit of wine” no one stopped him. He was allowed to finish, with a child sitting closely by. After exiting the plane first to talk to security the security guard asked me if I’d like an apology from the offender I immediately rejected the request. It took @unitedairlines a month an a half to respond to my complaint. And I received this email today. I am appalled at the lack of action taken in this situation in which as a woman, I was terrified. This man is clearly capable of much more. So women and men out there pick an airline that cares about your safety. #unitedairlines referring to being assaulted on one of your flight as a “uncomfortable experience” is a bit of an understatement. (See email) your lack of action is disgusting. @united #unitedairlines #metoo

A post shared by (@genevieve.f.p) on Jul 14, 2018 at 6:14am PDT

This behavior is taking sloth to new heights. Certainly, it’s not all that difficult to get out of a seat and walk 20 feet to a lavatory to relieve oneself.

Here’s a review of high-profile masturbatory incidents this year, thus far:

March —  The Gross Student Who Got Completely Naked While Enjoying Adult Film on a Kuala Lumpur Flight

March — The Business Suit Guy Who Sheepishly Stopped After Being Filmed

May — The Creep Who Pinned a Woman’s Arm Down While He Watched Porn on Southwest

July — A Woman Sued American Airlines, Claims FAs Failed to Stop Her Seatmate From Jerking It

July — A Woman Sued United, Claiming a FedEx Pilot Sexually Assaulted Her While Wanking

For the record, this gross, cowardly, bizarre act of self-indulgence ABSOLUTELY does not qualify one for entry into the mile high club.

Just make it stop already!