Welcome to another edition of Overheard on the Plane.
If you haven’t yet, check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-6 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources.
Submitted by Hank W – United Flight San Francisco (SFO) to Denver (DEN)
Child sees uniformed man walking down aisle to bathroom.
Child Passenger: Who is that?
Mother: That’s the pilot.
Child Passenger: Oh. (Silence.). OH MY GOD! WHO’S FLYING THE PLANE??
Submitted by Eric D – United Flight to Boston (BOS) several years ago
Flight Attendant (upon landing): Thank you for choosing United. We know you have a choice in various bankrupt airlines, so we appreciate your choice in flying with us today. Have a nice day.
Submitted by Kevin One Liners Courtesy of OHNY – LaGuardia (LGA) and JFK
Pilot (LGA): In just a few minutes our flight attendants will be starting beverage and snack service, including Coca Cola products and five snack options. Please listen carefully, as FAA regulations strictly prohibit our flight attendants from repeating these options.
United Gate Agent (LGA): Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to use the last-one-on-is-a-rotten-egg method of boarding here.
Flight Attendant (JFK): Please turn off your cell phones, iPhones, iPods, laptops… Basically, anything that is bringing you joy right now, just turn it off.
Pilot (LGA) as the seatbelt sign goes off: All rise.