Say What? Overheard on the Plane (Throwback Edition)

Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend, here we go…

American Flight 1384 from Barbados BGI to JFK
Female Passenger 1 – Wow, you got so much color down here, how long were you in Barbados for?
Female Passenger 2 – I was here for 6 nights but this is my natural color
Female Passenger 1 – I wish I could get that dark
Female Passenger 2 – No, natural as in I’m black
Female Passenger 1 – I know I can see, I’m totally jealous.  So do you get this color in New York during the summer as well or it’s the Caribbean sun?
Female Passenger 2 – (rolls her eyes and puts on her headphones)

American Flight 655 (JFK – St. Thomas STT) while testing a new credit /debit device for in-flight food purchases
Flight Attendant – Mam, you have to confirm your purchase.
Elderly Female Passenger – How do I do that?
Flight Attendant – With the device your holding
Elderly Female Passenger –  (picks up the cc device to speak) – I confirm

USAirways Flight 4128 (Baltimore BWI – Philadelphia PHL) All Economy courtesy of CEOwarriorette
Male Passenger – I’ll have some coffee with two sugars please.
Flight Attendant – Sorry sir, no hot beverages due to the short flight duration.
Male Passenger – Iced coffee will do then.

Delta Flight 184 from JFK to Paris CDG
Connecting Passenger 1 – Sorry to disturb you, this is our first time on a plane overseas.
Flight Attendant 1 – How exciting.  What can I help you with sir?
Connecting Passenger 1 – We both want to watch Two and a Half Men
Flight Attendant 1 – That should already be loaded in your personal tv units
Passenger 1’s wife – Yes, we both found it and clicked play but we can’t hear anything
Flight Attendant 1 – Neither of your headphones are working?
Passenger 1’s wife – We have to use the headphones? We wanted to watch together

Delta Lindbergh Terminal – Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport MSP
AMEX Representative– Sign-up for the Delta SkyMiles card and earn enough miles for a free trip anywhere in the domestic US.
Female Passenger 1 – Sir, you’re peddling lies
AMEX Representative – Excuse me?
Female Passenger 1- We call them SkyPesos now and you can’t go anywhere with them (tears the application).  They are worth cr*p.  (screams at others) – Don’t sign up for this card!

Delta Flight 315 from JFK – San Juan,  Puerto Rico SJU
Flight Attendant – Mexican fiesta omelet?
Male Passenger – Not if you paid me
Flight Attendant – Yea, I don’t blame you, what a way to start the day.


  1. ditty for ditsy flight attendants when tossed “snacks”:

    “Not long of tooth or memory
    An elephant I’ll never be.
    No peanuts, please!”

    I’ve tried it a few times, but have been consistently met by total bafflement.
    My madness, I suppose. Oh well…..

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