Hope everyone had a nice weekend, here we go again with a few more reader submitted entries…
AA Flight from JFK to Dallas (DFW)
Flight Attendant (JFK): Well, everybody, sorry for that delay, the plane was late coming in from California. On the other hand, I have some good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.
United Express flight from Memphis (MEM) to Newark (EWR)
Flight Attendant: This will be a miserable flight. It’ll be really turbulent and then we’ll end up in New Jersey.
KLM flight from Amsterdam (AMS) to Los Angeles (LAX)
British Guy (putting bags in overhead compartment when a woman taps him on shoulder): Yes?
Woman: You have two bags.
British Guy: What?
Woman: You’re only allowed one.
British Guy: Sit down and mind your own business.
Woman: It’s because of people like you that there’s no space left for the rest of us. How is it fair that you can do that?
British Guy: You’re twice the freaking weight that I am yet only had to buy one ticket. How’s that fair?
Southwest Ticket Counter @ Las Vegas (LAS)
This happened to my brother this morning at LAS and was communicated to me via text message:
At the Southwest ticket counter, in line to check luggage. Lady is complaining about the long line to check bags and how the other airlines (lines) are shorter.
Southwest employee: Ma’am you are welcome to fly with them and pay $150 for your 2 bags. A 10 minute wait for free bags may be worth it.
And that’s why I love Southwest!
@ JFK T4 Security Check
TSA Guard #1: You’re new here, right?
TSA Guard #2: Yeah. I worked at the Gap before, so this is different.
Delta Flight from Atlanta (ATL) to LGA
Pilot: Everyone, we’re fifteen minutes early… Please remember that next time we’re late.
Delta Flight from JFK to Paris (CDG)
Flight Attendant (while experiencing turbulence the seatbelt sign goes on): Please note the captain has turned on the seatbelt lights. When the seatbelt light is on please remain….*DING* Seatbelt Light Goes Off … O.K. it is off now…those of you who were ignoring it can go back to what you are doing….
Flight to Colorado Springs, CO (COS)
Pilot(standing at the door to the plane after pulling into the gate): Shit! I totally didn’t mean to park here!
Flight to Tampa (TPA)
Pilot: And just for sanitary reasons, please change your babies diapers in the bathroom, not on the pullout table in front of you, because people might stare.
Flight from Miami (MIA)
Pilot (during severely delayed flight): This is your pilot speaking, no word from air traffic control, but I just wanted to let you know…that I’m thinking of all of you.
Flight from Cancun (CUN)
Pilot: If you kids don’t calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and take you back to Mexico!
WestJet flight from Montreal (YUL) to LaGuardia (LGA)
Flight Attendant: So I’m gonna let the lady in the box take it away in French for the safety debrief, then I’ll finish up in English, because we like to save the best for last!
Entire Plane: Oooooooooooooh!
Passenger in the Back (in French): We’re still in Quebec, you know!
Send your Overheard entries to firstname.lastname@example.org and include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources.
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