Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend, here we go…

American Flight 1384 from Barbados BGI to JFK
Female Passenger 1 – Wow, you got so much color down here, how long were you in Barbados for?
Female Passenger 2 – I was here for 6 nights but this is my natural color
Female Passenger 1 – I wish I could get that dark
Female Passenger 2 – No, natural as in I’m black
Female Passenger 1 – I know I can see, I’m totally jealous.  So do you get this color in New York during the summer as well or it’s the Caribbean sun?
Female Passenger 2 – (rolls her eyes and puts on her headphones)

American Flight 655 (JFK – St. Thomas STT) while testing a new credit /debit device for in-flight food purchases
Flight Attendant – Mam, you have to confirm your purchase.
Elderly Female Passenger – How do I do that?
Flight Attendant – With the device your holding
Elderly Female Passenger –  (picks up the cc device to speak) – I confirm

USAirways Flight 4128 (Baltimore BWI – Philadelphia PHL) All Economy courtesy of CEOwarriorette
Male Passenger – I’ll have some coffee with two sugars please.
Flight Attendant – Sorry sir, no hot beverages due to the short flight duration.
Male Passenger – Iced coffee will do then.

Delta Flight 184 from JFK to Paris CDG
Connecting Passenger 1 – Sorry to disturb you, this is our first time on a plane overseas.
Flight Attendant 1 – How exciting.  What can I help you with sir?
Connecting Passenger 1 – We both want to watch Two and a Half Men
Flight Attendant 1 – That should already be loaded in your personal tv units
Passenger 1’s wife – Yes, we both found it and clicked play but we can’t hear anything
Flight Attendant 1 – Neither of your headphones are working?
Passenger 1’s wife – We have to use the headphones? We wanted to watch together

Delta Lindbergh Terminal – Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport MSP
AMEX Representative– Sign-up for the Delta SkyMiles card and earn enough miles for a free trip anywhere in the domestic US.
Female Passenger 1 – Sir, you’re peddling lies
AMEX Representative – Excuse me?
Female Passenger 1- We call them SkyPesos now and you can’t go anywhere with them (tears the application).  They are worth cr*p.  (screams at others) – Don’t sign up for this card!

Delta Flight 315 from JFK – San Juan,  Puerto Rico SJU
Flight Attendant – Mexican fiesta omelet?
Male Passenger – Not if you paid me
Flight Attendant – Yea, I don’t blame you, what a way to start the day.

The responses below are not provided or commissioned by the bank advertiser. Responses have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the bank advertiser. It is not the bank advertiser's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.


Related Articles


Bill November 26, 2012 - 3:28 am

This was your best edition yet! Thanks for a laugh on a cold morning.

adam November 26, 2012 - 5:13 am

@Bill – Glad you enjoyed! …very cold morning here in NY as well.

Matthew November 26, 2012 - 6:11 am

Further proof that people are crazy…Thanks for the laugh this morning!

yeliad November 26, 2012 - 7:34 am

ditty for ditsy flight attendants when tossed “snacks”:

“Not long of tooth or memory
An elephant I’ll never be.
No peanuts, please!”

I’ve tried it a few times, but have been consistently met by total bafflement.
My madness, I suppose. Oh well…..


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Point Me Awake


A morning jolt of travel-infused news & deals straight to your inbox. 


Success! Check your email for a welcome onboard message