Welcome to another edition of Overheard on the Plane. Big thanks to Kevin in New York who has contributed to Overheard for six weeks in a row, he definitely has the most entries in our current reader submission contest!
If you haven’t yet, check out Say What? Overheard on the Plane Editions 1-10 and of course keep sending in your stories for future posts to email@example.com. Remember to include the carrier and route as well as any other pertinent details and sources. There will also be a contest in the next several weeks for best entry with a mileage prize awarded for any entries submitted June 16 – August 1.
Submitted (again) by Kevin One Liners Courtesy of OHEverywhere
Flight from Las Vegas (LAS) to Oakland (OAK)
Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.
Flight from Sydney (SYD) to Melbourne (MEL) on Qantas
Passenger to Attendant: Excuse me? They turned the movie off.
Attendant: Yes, we’re landing earlier than thought.
Passenger: Oh, but the movie wasn’t over.
Attendant: Sorry about that, but we need to turn it off for descent.
Passenger: But I was watching it!
Attendant: I am very sorry, but since we have started our descent…
Passenger, interrupting: But now I don’t know how it ends!
Attendant: They all lived happily ever after.
Flight to Austin (AUS) on Southwest
Flight Attendant (over loudspeaker): We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
Flight Attendant (in deep, sexy voice): Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so..
Flight from Cancun (CUN)
Pilot: If you kids don’t calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and I will take you back to Mexico!
Flight to Denver (DEN)
Pilot (after taxiing to the gate for ten minutes): Let me know if you guys see something that looks like an airport.
Flight to Tampa (TPA)
Pilot: And just for sanitary reasons, please change your babies diapers in the bathroom, not on the pullout table in front of you, because people might stare.
Flight from Miami (MIA)
Pilot (during severely delayed flight): This is your pilot speaking, no word from air traffic control, but I just wanted to let you know…that I’m thinking of all of you.
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