Say What? Overheard on the Plane Edition 24

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane.

Submitted by Ricky in Kansas City, MO courtesy of PCs

United flight from Kansas City (MCI) to Chicago (ORD)
Flight Attendant: In the event of a loss in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop in front of you. Once you have finished screaming, put the mask on…
and in the same speech …. In the event this flight turns into a cruise, your seat may be used as a floatation device.

Submitted by Debbie in Montreal, Quebec

WestJet flight from Toronto (YYZ) to Edmonton (YEG)
Flight Attendant after a hard landing: That was quite a bump, and I know what you’re all thinking… I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault…it was the asphalt!

Submitted by Dominik B

United flight from San Francisco (SFO) to Washington (IAD)
The plane was still at the gate with the door open
Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, if you left a Subway sub at the gate please come up after boarding has completed to claim it. If no one claims it, it will be distributed as crew meal.

Submitted by Beth in Toronto, Ontario courtesy of PCs

Air Canada flight from Vancouver (YVR) to Toronto (YYZ)
A Canadian airline pilot wrote in his journal that on one particular flight due to strong crosswinds, he had unfortunately hammered his ship onto the runway with a very hard greeting. The airline had a policy which required the first officer on the flight to stand at the exit door while the passengers disembarked, smile and repeat “thanks for ?flying with us”. His comments indicated that, in light of the poor landing, he avoided eye contact with the passengers in an attempt to avoid any smart comments that might result. Finally there was only one little old lady left to exit the plane. Walking slowly up the aisle with a cane, she approached the awaiting first officer and said:
Little Old Lady: Sir, do you mind if I ask ?you a question?
First Officer: Why, no, Ma’am, what is it?
Little Old Lady: Did we land, or were we shot down?

Submitted by Michael in Atlanta, GA

Delta flight from Atlanta (ATL) to Providenciales, Turks & Caicos
A little boy was sitting next to his mother and took the safety card out of the seat pocket, he pointed at the picture of the plane with rafts coming out of the exit doors and said:
Little Boy: Look mom, the plane can land on water!

Submitted by Louisa in Indianapolis, IN

US Airways connecting flight from Indianapolis (IND) to Boston (BOS)
Pilot: Sit back and relax, we’ll be in Indy in about an hour and 55 minutes. Mic clicks off, then back on Uh… We’ll be in Boston. You know where you’re going.

Remember, there is currently an on-going contest for Overheard on the Plane submissions. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries. All entries can be sent to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and should include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources.