Say What? Overheard on the Plane (Edition 1)

by Adam

One of the “perks” of flying so often is having the privilege to overhear some ridiculous conversations in the air.  As part of a weekly weekend post, I’ll be sharing some of these conversations.  If you too have done a double take after hearing the outrageous, shoot me an email at for inclusion in a future post, the more the better!

Flight from Dublin to JFK
Male Passenger 1 (late 20s) – What are you guys looking to see in the city?
Female Passenger 1 (early 20s) – We want to hit up some of the famous clubs
Male Passenger 1  – Oh I can make you a list of all the hot clubs right now
Female Passenger 1 – Not those type of clubs
Male Passenger 1 –  Oh comedy clubs, I’ve only been to one but there are tons of people handing out flyers for them all over times square.  You’ll easily find them.
Female Passenger 1 – Not those type either, me and my girls like the strip clubs

Flight from Barbados to JFK
Female Passenger 1 – Wow, you got so much color down here, how long were you in Barbados for?
Female Passenger 2 – I was here for 6 nights but this is my natural color
Female Passenger 1 – I wish I could get that dark
Female Passenger 2 – No, natural as in I’m black
Female Passenger 1 – I know I can see, I’m totally jealous.  So do you get this color in New York during the summer as well or it’s the Caribbean sun?
Female Passenger 2 – (rolls her eyes and puts on her headphones)

Flight from Dublin to Porto
(after tea and coffee had just been served)
Female Passenger 1 – Can I have some warm water for my baby’s formula?
Flight Attendant 1 – (rolls her eyes), this is another reason why you should breastfeed!

Flight from Mumbai to Goa
Male Passenger 1 – Why can’t they turn on the A/C while we are parked at the gate?
Flight Attendant 1 – Cost savings
Male Passenger 1 – I’ve been on this flight several times before and the air is always on prior to departure from the gate
Flight Attendant 1 – Sir, obviously there is a problem with the A/C and we are working on it
Flight Attendant 1 (picks up microphone to make an announcement) – Attention passengers, the safety card in the back of your seat also functions as a fan

Flight from JFK to Athens
Female Passenger 1 – What happened to the caramel sauce that comes with the sundaes?
Flight Attendant 1 – Oh, you didn’t hear? We are trying to be healthy now

Flight from JFK to Paris
Connecting Passenger 1 – Sorry to disturb you, this is our first time on a plane overseas.
Flight Attendant 1 – How exciting.  What can I help you with sir?
Connecting Passenger 1 – We both want to watch Two and a Half Men
Flight Attendant 1 – That should already be loaded in your personal tv units
Passenger 1’s wife – Yes, we both found it and clicked play but we can’t hear anything
Flight Attendant 1 – Neither of your headphones are working?
Passenger 1’s wife – We have to use the headphones? We wanted to watch together

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snuggliestbear April 21, 2012 - 4:44 pm

On a JFK-ORD flight:
Male Passenger: Man, that was a long flight.
Female Passenger: Where did you coming from?
Male Passenger: Fort Lauderdale.

I had to roll my eyes at this one, especially since I was coming from Milan on an itinerary that would take me 22 hours to get home. I hope this guy doesn’t try to go overseas anytime soon.

Dave Hackett April 21, 2012 - 5:04 pm

On a MSP to PHX flight, over Omaha (on 9/11):
Female flight attendant whispering urgently to another, over the cart which was by my seat: “Stow the cart! We’re going down!” (This was the first indication of trouble.)

Levi Flight April 21, 2012 - 6:01 pm

Like snuggliestbear’s tale. I was on a flight last month from SFO to IAH on which there were a number of folks heading to FA training. The young trainee next to me said “wow, that was a long boring flight”. Wonder how it is working out.

Some time ago I took from Heathrow to Barcelona. I was facing the FA as we came in to land. It was a bit choppy but not too bad. She was white knuckle – clearly very nervous. I looked at her, she looked at me and she said “At moments like the people look to me for reassurance and I just can’t give it”. ‘You are in the wrong job” I said. Wonder if she is still flying.

melvin April 22, 2012 - 4:08 pm

On a SIN-NRT flight:
Flight Attendant: For your meal today we have two choices, fish or chicken. What would you like?
Me: Oh, chicken please.
Flight Attendant: Oh I’m sorry, we have run out of chicken.
Me: Okayyyyyyy… then why did you tell me about the choices then?
Flight Attendant: Oh I’ve been saying it for the past 20 rows, so I wasn’t really thinking when I asked you. Sorry!
Me: *speechless*

well points for honesty

Frank April 25, 2012 - 5:24 am

Flight from MIA – SFO midnight run flight with diner service. All meal choices on the menu were listed as being served cold. Female sitting in front of me after being served beef over noodles:
Woman to FA: Excuse me! this food is cold!
FA: That is the way it is served. It is suppose to be cold.
Woman: You don’t expect me to eat cold food? That is crazy who eats cold food? (besides everyone else eating around her)
FA: Well, I can heat it up for you but it will take about 15 min.
Woman: 15 min! who needs that long to heat up cold food?

Kudos to the FA for dealing with her.

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